What Makes You Angry?

Sometimes Forgiving is Hard

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22 (NASB)

Being able to forgive is not for the weak of faith. It takes faith if God to follow his commands even when it is hard to do, even when we do not want to. How do you forgive when it seems all you have is anger for what has happened? Jeannette Williams write a piece entitled “Forgiving When You Can’t” that might help…

“Her car had killed my husband, a school crossing guard. She had struck Tom down while he was on duty, helping the children. The investigating officer and witnesses had told me it was a “no fault” accident. I didn’t want to believe them.

In the sad, lonely weeks after the funeral, my thoughts turned again and again to this woman–blaming her, accusing her, resenting her.

One afternoon my preacher, Garth Steele, stopped by, “I’ve seen her,” he said. “She wasn’t speeding. She wasn’t careless. She was blinded by the low, glaring sun. It honestly wasn’t an irresponsible accident.”

“That’s what everyone says,” I replied. “I know I should feel sorry for her–that God wants me to–but I can’t.”

He patted my arm kindly. “When you can accept what’s happened, perhaps you can forgive. Please, Jeannette, ask God to help you.”

My angry feelings were still there a few weeks later when Brother Steele came back “I want you to go see her,” he said.

“See her?” My voice was shrill. “Why? I’m the one who’s alone–she has a husband! I’m the injured party.” I was hurting so much inside. “Is it wrong that I’m angry?” I finally asked.

“No, it’s human. With God’s help, you’ll work your way through this. You must pray about it.” He took my hands. “She’s a teacher. She loves children, the way Tom did.”

She loves children. The words echoed in my head long after he’d left. I tried to imagine the woman in her classroom–guiding, encouraging, concerned for her students. I sank into Tom’s chair and bowed my head: “Father, I can’t go on like this. I know You want me to forgive her. Help me have the heart to do it.”

The next day, God did. I was putting away some sympathy notes from Tom’s schoolchildren, and as I reread the caring messages, Tom’s favorite bible verse slipped into my mind: (Eph 4:32 NIV) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

My preacher had asked me to pray, and I had. Now, I found, I was ready to try the thing that God seemed to be asking me: Be Kind.

Brother Steele phoned ahead, and the following morning I walked up the brick path to the woman’s house.

She had a frail look and her face was drawn. We sat down stiffly. At first it was difficult for both of us to talk, and then she began to tell me how her heart went out to me, and how miserable she was. She was afraid to drive a car now, she couldn’t work, and she couldn’t eat. Could it be, I wondered, that she was suffering even more than I? And then I heard my own voice blurt out: “I know you didn’t mean to hit my husband.”

Her lips trembled. “If only I hadn’t left home that day!”

Without thinking about it, I put my arms around her. “I forgive you,” I said. “Now you must forgive yourself.” And, with God’s help, she did.”

Today’s Prayer

Dear Lord,

Sometimes the hurts are so deep that it seems impossible to forgive. Help me today to trust you by faith and obey Your Word. Please give me the strength and courage to forgive. In Jesus Name, Amen.

What Make You Angry?

Then Peter came and said to Him, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Jesus *said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21-22 (NASB)

God has given us the answers to the toughest questions we will ever encounter. However, we must trust Him and do our part. This story, originally shared in Pulpit Helps, illustrates the power of forgiveness. It really works, but only if we apply it.

A woman wrote to “Pulpit Helps” to explain a miraculous lesson her family experienced. During one of their family Bible readings as new Christians, they ran across the verse, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him” (Romans 12:20 RSV). She writes:

Ours sons, 7 and 10 at the time, were especially puzzled. “Why should you feed your enemy?” they wondered. My husband and I wondered too, but the only answer John could think of to give the boys was, “We’re supposed to because God says so.” It never occurred to us that we would soon learn why.

Day after day John Jr. came home from school complaining about a classmate who sat behind him in 5th grade. “Bob keeps jabbing me when Miss Smith isn’t looking. One of these days, when we’re out on the playground, I’m going to jab him back.

I was ready to go down to the school and jab Bob myself. Obviously the boy was a brat. Besides, why wasn’t Miss Smith doing a better job with her kids? I’d better give her an oral jab, too, at the same time!”

I was still fuming over this injustice to John Jr. when his 7 year old brother spoke up: “Maybe he should feed his enemy.” The three of us were startled.

None of us was sure about this “enemy” business. It didn’t seem that an enemy would be in the 5th grade. An enemy was someone who was way off… well, somewhere.

We all looked at John. Since he was the head of the family, he should come up with the solution. But the only answer he could offer was the same one he had given before: “I guess we should because God said so.”

“Well,” I asked John Jr., “do you know what Bob likes to eat? If you’re going to feed him, you may as well get something he likes.” “Jelly beans,” he almost shouted, “Bob just loves jelly beans.”

So we bought a bag of jelly beans for him to take to school the next day, and decided that the next time Bob jabbed John Jr., John was simply to turn around and deposit the bag on his “enemy’s” desk. We would see whether or not this enemy feeding worked.

The next afternoon, the boys rushed home from the school bus and John Jr. called ahead, “It worked, Mom! It worked.” I wanted the details: “What did Bob do? What did he say?”

“He was so surprised he didn’t say anything – he just took the jelly beans. But he didn’t jab me the rest of the day!” In time, John Jr. and Bob became the best of friends – all because of a little bag of Jelly Beans.

Both of our sons subsequently became missionaries on foreign fields. Their way of showing friendship with any “enemies” of the faith was to invite the inhabitants of those countries into their own homes to share food with them around their own tables.

It seems “enemies” are always hungry. Maybe that’s why God said to feed them.

Today Prayer

Dear Lord,

Thank You for the guidance Your Word gives me. Please give me the courage to apply it daily. In Jesus Name, Amen.